there’s so much i want to say but each time i tried i just don’t know where to start..

life has been a mess.. the soon-to-come graduation is giving me the cold sweat.. it’s disheartening to realise that my current GPA will get me nowhere in NTU which has always been my wish or at least dad’s.. maybe i shouldn't go biting more than i can chew.. and with modules like ITFD (International Trade Finance and Documentation) and TREA (Treasury), chances of improvement are even slimmer.. i don’t know how to tell him this next February..

so i started coming up with other routes i could take and i get cheered up each time i add one to the list.. but fear never fails to reignite within me, fear of the bleak future and that i cannot do things well..

my mood switches so often sometimes i don’t even understand why.. i started getting distrustful towards people, easily agitated and kept harping on things that make myself upset.. breaking down sometimes when im alone is a great way to relieve..

the long-awaited e-learning week is finally here.. i thought i can have a good break, not with next week’s term tests and BD phase three report due the week after that.. it feels guilty to be taking a break now.. but i feel so listless all the time i haven't started revision at all..

it’s scary having nothing to look forward to..

ahh nothing seems right..

PLEASE HELP!

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P/S: happy Hari Raya Puasa to susu and family!

BD phase two presentation is finally over! it was such a relief we made it through when it seemed almost impossible in such a short period of time.. John Foo said the clients and himself were very impressed with our work =))

made my first trip to Holland Village yesterday! didnt see wanwan though.. haha.. but i saw the windmill finally! there are many interesting shops there, such as the special Cold Rock ice creamery where you get to choose the ice cream flavour(s) and chocolates/peanut butter/fruits add-ons then if you want, they will MIX it all up for you.. dinner was at the cozy upstairs of Essential Brew, served by our dear gris =D

this is already the second week of school.. final semester’s subjects seem a lot tougher.. especially International Trade Finance and Documentation.. Financial Planning is so far alright but Banking Law II is beginning to wear me out.. Treasury seems the most interesting.. not to forget the elective i’ve chosen – Math for Business.. it’s A-math stuff.. but i can hardly recall the stuff i learnt in secondary school, and that lecturer seems to be making it harder =/

am meeting dd tomorrow finally! havent seen her for a long time already! and cousin too! looking forward to meet up with her soon =)