met up with budds finally, it is always nice to see them again, we still laugh at silly things together, we still eat the same food at Fish & Co, and we still walk aimlessly on the street, so simple and carefree.. love having them around :)



-- cookies from mei and hui :)

the pineapple tarts are made by hui's mum while the cookies on top are made by mei. it's my first time trying her cookies, i think it's good! cant wait to try the super big one, i think it looks like subway's cookie..

look forward to meet up with you all again before wei leaves for Adelaide and mei back to Melbourne..

on a happier note, the ethics prof asked for my opinion in class today and i think i made some sense in what i commented - sense of achievement :)

i think the prof is trying to help me after i told him about my difficulties last week, really thankful for that :)

two more weeks to CNY, thinking if i should bring W to grandma's place again this year..

it has been almost half a year since my last entry; changed the skin for a new year, may it be a better one!

firstly, WELCOME BACK! you know who you are!
happy you are finally back although not for long, i've so much to tell you and i want to hear you share too :))

anyway, had quite an unpleasant afternoon during Ethics class today, prof's question got me dumbfounded despite all my preparations before class. actually i do find Ethics rather interesting in spite of the heavy readings, but im just very bad when it comes to critiquing some philosophical theories, and establishing my standpoint and counteracting any possible argument. i think im not the kind who likes to question why, or maybe im just too lazy to think. i wonder how the brain of most others in my school works, in Ethics and in my other classes, how they think what they are thinking. school makes me feel stupid. just feel it makes me a less confident and quieter person. i miss the confidence i had and the joy of learning i found in poly. sometimes it makes me wonder if i had proceeded on to work after poly instead of going S**, would i have become a better and happier person? they make you feel if you dont speak up, you cant survive, and that's exactly my weakness. i can handle the stress most of the time, it's only times like today when i start feeling whatever remains of my confidence is draining away, that i cant contain my emotions that well. tried very hard but uncontrollably teared a little on the train back. when i got home, i poured like mad, i think i scared mum. it's quite embarrassing i still come home crying at this age of mine, but it's the feeling of being home, and knowing i can be who i really am that makes me let go of everything.

W says he loves me regardless of how well i perform in school or how well i can talk to people, it makes me feel so much better. even sis, who is usually not good at cheering people up, offered me her chips just now saying today is an exception. they have seen me at my worst - dad, mum, sis and W, they are always the ones to take my bad temper, my complaints and my grumbles.

not forgetting cousin, dd, hui and mei; although they have not seen me at my worst, i hope not, it's the kind of understanding that i appreciate; understanding what kind of person i really am, and supporting and accepting me with no judgments. compared to the problems and unhappiness that other people in the world out there may be facing, mine is not worth mentioning, but at least at my lowest, i have them. thank YOU.

three and a half years, i made it past one and a half!