there’s so much i want to say but each time i tried i just don’t know where to start..

life has been a mess.. the soon-to-come graduation is giving me the cold sweat.. it’s disheartening to realise that my current GPA will get me nowhere in NTU which has always been my wish or at least dad’s.. maybe i shouldn't go biting more than i can chew.. and with modules like ITFD (International Trade Finance and Documentation) and TREA (Treasury), chances of improvement are even slimmer.. i don’t know how to tell him this next February..

so i started coming up with other routes i could take and i get cheered up each time i add one to the list.. but fear never fails to reignite within me, fear of the bleak future and that i cannot do things well..

my mood switches so often sometimes i don’t even understand why.. i started getting distrustful towards people, easily agitated and kept harping on things that make myself upset.. breaking down sometimes when im alone is a great way to relieve..

the long-awaited e-learning week is finally here.. i thought i can have a good break, not with next week’s term tests and BD phase three report due the week after that.. it feels guilty to be taking a break now.. but i feel so listless all the time i haven't started revision at all..

it’s scary having nothing to look forward to..

ahh nothing seems right..

PLEASE HELP!

heyhey if you are free, please visit:

www.thehungersite.com

it has links to sponsers that will donate 1.1 cup of rice* for every click made, as well as online shops that have pledged to donate part of their proceeds to the cause.
*to the 23 million undernourished people in Central and Eastern Europe, central Asia, and the newly independent states

there are also others - Breast Cancer, Child Health, Literacy, Rainforest, and Animal Rescue; just look through the different tabs and click as many times on the “Click Here to Give – it’s FREE” button :)

help spread this too :)

P/S: happy Hari Raya Puasa to susu and family!

BD phase two presentation is finally over! it was such a relief we made it through when it seemed almost impossible in such a short period of time.. John Foo said the clients and himself were very impressed with our work =))

made my first trip to Holland Village yesterday! didnt see wanwan though.. haha.. but i saw the windmill finally! there are many interesting shops there, such as the special Cold Rock ice creamery where you get to choose the ice cream flavour(s) and chocolates/peanut butter/fruits add-ons then if you want, they will MIX it all up for you.. dinner was at the cozy upstairs of Essential Brew, served by our dear gris =D

this is already the second week of school.. final semester’s subjects seem a lot tougher.. especially International Trade Finance and Documentation.. Financial Planning is so far alright but Banking Law II is beginning to wear me out.. Treasury seems the most interesting.. not to forget the elective i’ve chosen – Math for Business.. it’s A-math stuff.. but i can hardly recall the stuff i learnt in secondary school, and that lecturer seems to be making it harder =/

am meeting dd tomorrow finally! havent seen her for a long time already! and cousin too! looking forward to meet up with her soon =)

been working on BD for the past few days.. thanks foong for all the 'enlightenment' =P

and my braces are finally up! a decision delayed by three years.. been eating like a baby so far cos i still havent master chewing with the braces on.. swallowing all that i can swallow without biting.. result is slight indigestion as observed from my s***, wahaha..

now i've learnt to eat by pressing my food against the top of my mouth, though it gets abit sng after some time.. but i finally managed to eat the pineapple tarts cousin brought back from taiwan! they taste as good as they look =)) thanks cousin!

it's the last week of school holiday!
then it will be our final year final semester.. i wish time would slow down a little..

felt the tremors from the earthquake that hit Sumatra at evening today.. my block swayed around three to four times.. this was the second time i had such experience, the first was during attachment, but this time it was scarier.. hope it wont occur again, dad is going on a fishing trip to Indonesia with his friends this Friday..

anyway, sis brought me to Balestier Road for the famous Whampoa fish head steamboat last night :)

we had the batang fish steamboat, baby kailan, and their signature dish – hăe zÓu (prawn gnor hiong).. they were fabulous! particularly the steamboat, the soup is clear and tasty, and the fish fresh! best of all, it is free-flow so you can drink to your fill! =P

there are many photographs of the boss with local artistes.. they must be quite popular.. and we saw an old man who came in with this china lady who was much younger.. then another came in with a middle-aged man.. interesting =Pp cant help but wonder how are they related huh.. haha..

had to give up our thoughts on having durians as we were too full after that.. but dinner was wonderful :)

many funny incidents took place last night that made me laugh just at the thought of them.. seemed so long since we last had some ‘sisters time’ together :)

sis suggested we live opposite each other in future, i love that idea.. we can drop by each other’s place often, then can borrow each other’s eggs and soy sauce.. and our kids get to play together.. so fun =D

brought grandma, dad and mum to watch 881 tonight =P this is dad and mum’s second time watching it, and my third! i didnt cry as much as i did the first time but i love the songs just as much! grandma cried too, which really came as a surprise cos she is one tough woman..

this is my first time bringing grandma to the cinema, it turned out really good.. it warmed my heart to see dad throwing occasional glances at grandma as she made her way down the dark stairway, he usually seem so nonchalant about everything..

dad is rather happy im actually enjoying these songs.. he has been introducing me to many hokkien songs recently.. and in return, i have been introducing to him soundtracks of 偶像剧 such as Corner with Love and My Girl =D

anyway, i have been enjoying my school holiday.. all the eating, sleeping, and tv watching =))
i love semester holiday! no need feel guilty about leaving schoolwork aside because it’s not term break, moreover next semester we would be studying totally different subjects so, whee! though i do feel guilty for not continuing with my BD =Pp

two weeks more to start of school, shall dedicate this time to BD!

and results will be out next Wednesday! ahhh Credit Risk..

wei is back from Dubai already, hope everything is ok!
and qian will be back from Hong Kong tomorrow, together with our Krispy Kreme donuts! =P
and cousin is flying to Taiwan tomorrow and i get to see her off! i love going to the airport.. hope she gets to see artistes there! =P
and mei will be flying to Melbourne next Wednesday!
oh ya, today is her big day! happy 20th birthday! have a good time there!

shall go think about the ten countries i want to visit as inspired by our birthday girl! =D

bon voyage to cousin and mei!

tuesday was 04’s class chalet at Aranda Country Club, my very first chalet stay-over!

the room is soo big; there’s a living room, two bedrooms, two bathrooms, and a kitchen!

played my first ever PS game (football) with mei =P and barbeque was fun! so glad foong made it there.. we had some card games too, love the memory game gris introduced =Pp

then it was shower time before lights out at 4 plus in the morning! all five of us (su, qian, gris, mei and me) were squeezed together on one bed!

began the following day with a hearty breakfast of hotcakes, followed by cycling at Costa Sands.. im still going slow and trying to improve my balancing so i didnt join buds in their race.. was taking my own sweet time at the back until i lost sight of them.. then i couldnt make out the way back cos there were just so many similar-looking trees around and my handphone was with su!

i was a little panicky initially.. but i had a strong feeling buds will come look for me.. thanks leh, though it’s a small matter but i really like that feeling you know :))